Andrew Mountbatten Windsor is vile. The line we are fed about the bastard formerly known as Prince Andrew is that he is a bad apple. But that photo, the one with his arm around Virginia Giuffre, was broadly part of his government job – where he influenced elites through sex and good times to buy British weapons.
This is a systematic problem, but no one wants to talk about it. Understandably, because no one wants to talk about the rape of minors, but this is how the arms trade does business. We do the survivors of sexual assault a disservice if we ignore the system that uses our entitled, out-of-touch, vile elite to sell weapons to entitled, out-of-touch, vile elites around the world.
Andrew – the Godfather (but not quite)
The thing to understand first is that Andrew is the Fredo of the Royal Family. He’s not going to be king. He can’t ride a horse that well. He’s a womaniser. Just like in the Godfather films, the Royals had to find something useful that their useless brother could do. Given the Royals’ traditional roles and Andrew’s time in the Navy, there was one obvious answer: sell weapons to despots around the world.
Despots have two problems: One, they need weapons (to shore up their grip on power) and two, legitimacy (being a despot lessens one’s legitimacy significantly). Britain has the most high-profile and respected royal family in the world. If you buy weapons from us, our royals will hang out with you and make you look more legitimate.
Brutally repressive King of a tiny island, but wants to buy our second-hand patrol boats? Watch horses with the Queen! Evil Saudis want to sign the biggest British weapons deal of the generation? Prince Charles will turn up and do your swordy dance with you! Son of a dictator who is an international pariah but wants to buy British killing gear? Hang out with Andrew, son of the Queen!
‘Special’
Andrew was the UK’s “Special Representative for International Trade and Investment”. Special as in “let’s make sure everyone has a special time.” “International Trade and Investment” as in selling weapons. As Fredo did, Andrew made himself useful to the family business.
Andrew showed up at defence shindigs around the world for decades. Andrew’s job was to make sure those despotic Princes and their like had a good time. We don’t know much because the government won’t release the files, but all the evidence is that he did it really really well. As Buckingham Palace said, “He brings immeasurable value in smoothing the path (my emphasis) for British companies…because of who he is.”
Andrew’s name always came up whenever I talked to researchers about the enormous Al-Yamamah arms deal with Saudi Arabia. An arms deal that Andrew was caught appearing to condone bribery, defending. An arms deal signed amid epic corruption and spectacular entertainment.
Facilitating corruption
The arms trade, the military, and the whole Defence sector see themselves as having to protect the rest of us by making tough, real-world choices. Having to be corrupt so that the rest of us can live our peaceful lives. And you can see their logic throughout Andrew’s career. He facilitated corruption – at least we sold British weapons. Some children got r*aped in the process – turning a blind eye to the deaths of foreign children is a fundamental plank on which British arms are sold. The arms trade wouldn’t bat an eye.
We are told Andrew is a bad apple. Just like when a police officer kills someone. Or when yet another politician is corrupt. We are told not to look at the barrel—just remove that one bad apple. We are never told that the system is the problem. The UK establishment is completely unrepentant about the system that empowered, paid for, and gave Andrew a specially created job so that he could act as he did. They only cry crocodile tears now that Andrew has been caught, decades after the fact.
There is no intention on the part of our establishment to change how they do business. If the government genuinely wanted to show contrition for its part in Andrew’s vile deeds, it could release the files on the matter.
Andrew, a disgusting human being
They won’t for three reasons: Firstly, it would embarrass all those despots who also took part in those vile deeds, and we wouldn’t be able to sell them weapons anymore. Secondly, it would show that Andrew has done many terrible things for far longer than we currently know about. Thirdly, it would show that they know about all of this, all along.
Spoilers, but it doesn’t end well for Fredo in The Godfather Part II. Just as Fredo was removed from the family, so is Andrew. Being angry with Andrew is as pointless as expecting the Godfather to become a legitimate businessman. Let’s focus our anger on the institutions that have fucked up more children than Andrew ever will: the arms trade, British government support for it, and the Royal Family.
Featured image via the Canary
